(post originally written 6/29 for a story that airs 7/13 on WFMY)
The first half of today can best be summed up by an email entitled “Feelin’ stabby” that I sent to a friend. It included the following text & image:
as of noon today my power was still out.
most of my food is now in the breakroom fridge.
the frozen yogurt didn’t make it through the night. burial later today.
i left the lettuce & cucumber to fend for themselves.
i’ve had one cup of coffee.
i could use a hug.
if the power isn’t on by the time i get home, i’m taking matters into my own hands.
the plan involves duct tape, tin foil, highly trained domesticated animals & a giant metal chicken.
I had to get ready w/ no power. That means no morning music & more importantly, no coffee. Duke Energy obviously does not realize the potential danger that causes. I needs my coffee. I needs many coffees. I get to work, unload all my food, go to make coffee in the upstairs conference room & discover a casualty to the previous night’s thunderstorm. Apparently the power at work was out for a wee bit as well, and for some reason that was enough to kill the coffee maker. I hit the on button & the sad little light dimmed & went out. Fleeting thoughts of chucking the coffeemaker against the wall or over the balcony railing danced through my head. But that’s not the way you treat the dead. So I just gave a quick eulogy & skulked out of the room.
Luckily for the other humans I work with, they’d left about a 1/3 pot of coffee in the downstairs coffeemaker. I got a cup. One cup. I’ve usually had 4-5 cups by the time I get to work. Just so’s ya know. One cup doesn’t cut it. People could’ve died.
I wanted to shotgun it & get another before someone else could drink it, but alas, it was too hot for that. And then part of me remembered some childhood lesson about sharing. I’m not the only person in the office who’s dangerous when decaffeinated. Safety first. Spreading the wealth minimizes the risks of murder by stapler.
Since I couldn’t get a clear answer about when my power would return, I left my food in the work fridge & headed to Zumba at the Y after work. Good class. Got home, opened the door, and was immediately welcomed by cool air & a barking dog. Walked into the kitchen to find several clocks blinking. The power had only been on for an hour. Glad I took my food to work.
The lettuce & cucumber survived the power outage so I prepared a small salad…but what I really wanted was some meat. Bloody red meat, preferably cooked on the grill. No such luck for a girl that can’t spend any money whose meat was sitting in a freezer 6 miles away. Oh to have a key to the office. Sigh.
I settled in to eat my salad & enjoy some How I Met Your Mother reruns & received a text from Elesha.
“James made speghetti. Want me to bring you some?”
“Does it have meat in it?”
“Yeah it does!!”
“I’ll bring you some. Need anything else? Creamer? Rum? Bacon?”
This girl knows me like no other.
After further discussions we decided that it would be best if I came over to her house where she could feed me meaty noodles & garlic bread & we could watch So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) & catch up. Genius.
I went. I ate. She gave me a diet coke. She’s good people. We had intellectual discussions on who we would keep on SYTYCD & who we would vote off. I left at 11pm, a saner & happier individual.
I made it through Day 3 & nobody died. Well, except for the coffeemaker. But that wasn’t my fault.