The Blogaversary Post


So thanks to Facebook’s sometimes handy, often cringeworthy On This Day app, I learned today is the anniversary of the day I started this blog. My blogaversary, if you will. I figured I oughta write something, but don’t really have anything I feel like posting just yet (there are things in the works), so I turned to Person for a writing assignment. Sometimes I do that. Here’s a few she gave me today:

“Write about a song that means a lot to you.”

(cuz she was watching The Voice at the time): I’ve done that before. You can find that post here. Another fave would be Neil Diamond’s Done to Soon, and mostly I mention it because I heard it today. It’s the song I play whenever somebody dies (I find it oddly comforting), and one that I want played at my funeral. Dear Person: write that down; tell your hubs. Book a horn section, too, please. I’ll set aside some cash for that.

I’m pretty sure heaven has a good horn section.

I don’t plan on dying any time soon. It’s just good to be prepared. Just ask the Girl Scouts. Oh! I was a Girl Scout once upon a time.  No really, it’s true. I hated selling cookies, and now I’m in sales. Life’s funny that way.

“Write about anniversaries.”

No. Mostly because I suck at remembering them. I’m not that girl. I’m the “I think we started dating sometime in September, maybe? Or was it October? What play was happening at the time?” kind of girl. It would be best if I got married on a major holiday, just so I could remember the anniversary. Plus, built in themes!

I don’t plan on getting hitched anytime soon, either. But it’s good for the guy to know going in that I will probably not remember any anniversaries. I’m pretty good at birthdays, though. Usually.

“Write why yoga pants should be acceptable in the workplace.”

I mean, it goes without saying, really. Comfort leads to productivity, at least in my book. Plus you can drop into yoga poses to realign yourself after sitting at the desk for long periods of time. Yoga pants promote good workplace health, really.

I totally DO plan on wearing yoga pants to work next week. Mostly because I will be working from my Mom’s house.

“In honor of the Wasted series at church, write a list of your favorite time wasters.”

Easy peasy: Netflix, coloring books, looking up random crap on the internet, photoshop.

I do plan on wasting less time. Starting tomorrow. Probably.

“It’s National Poem Month! You could write a poem!”

Fact: In the early days of Facebook, I would compose birthday poems when FB reminded me of friends’ poems. They rhymed and usually made little to no sense. I’m not really sure why I stopped. I’d write one now but the Wondermutts are getting restless. Sorry, Person.

Right now. In my face.

Right now. In my face.

I plan on writing one soon, though.

& that’s the blogaversary post. If anything, it proves I suck at anniversaries, and excel at planning. If I knew ahead of time that my blogaversary was near, I would have planned a better post. One with confetti and unicorns, probably. Or confetti unicorns.

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Working on Christmas Eve


Because we’re open for half a day (mostly to make deliveries) and I am out of vacation time (thanks to using it all on awesome trips to St.Louis, Las Vegas, Topsail Island and the UK,) I’m here in my office for four hours trying to think of things to do to make the time pass quickly.

34 “Elf” Quotes That Never Get Old & when you can use them .... SO FUNNY!:

Snuggling at the office is frowned upon.

Here’s my list!

  • Clean and organize office…until the task gets boring, because cleaning sucks.
  • Shred all the things.
  • Wish customers a Merry Christmas on all the social media.
  • Spend prolonged time on all the social media.
  • Eat all the food (biscuits & donuts were brought in because bossdaddy likes to feed the people.)
  • Write a blog post to get back in the habit of writing. Aim low with the entertainment value & just get it done.
  • Think about work goals for 2016. Maybe even write some of them down.
  • Drink all the coffee. ALL OF IT.
  • Obsess over what’s left to be done before all the Christmasing begins & have mild anxiety attack.
  • Curse the stupid rain.
  • Stare at the 1979 poster of the Police on wall for awhile and contemplate starting a vinyl collection.
  • Prepare for Monday’s Year End Review. Include mild anxiety attack in the preparation.
  • Make a to do list for next week’s work hours, because the last week of the year is also traditionally slow & will need things to do to occupy overactive brain.
  • Hope the phone rings.

34 "Elf" Quotes That Never Get Old

 

Merry Christmas Eve, you guys.

34 "Elf" Quotes That Never Get Old

Opening Night Thoughts


My morning thoughts, from the time I woke up until I got into the shower:

  • OMG CHARLEY HORSE IN BOTH LEGS
  • I need to get black out shades.
  • Is that what they’re called?
  • It’s way too early & too bright.
  • Get off me, Stella.
  • OMG SERIOUSLY, CHARLEY HORSE.
  • I need to put a whole banana in my shake this morning. Maybe two.
  • Are they fracking in Walnut Cove?
  • Did I read that?
  • I wonder if flames are going to shoot out of people’s faucets.
  • Flaming showers?
  • Yikes.
  • Why is my left knee so sore?
  • WHY AM I WALKING LIKE NEIL?
  • When did I get old?
  • How much salt did I eat yesterday?
  • I need to hydrate.
  • Why is it called Smart Water?
  • Marketing!
  • It’s Opening Night!
  • It’s Opening Night & my knees don’t work!
  • Shit.
  • I’m so glad I have a dishwasher.
  • Are we in a drought or just the West Coast?
  • My grass looks like crap.
  • Why are the dogs barking?
  • I’m hungry.
  • How many calories did I have yesterday?
  • Not enough, clearly.
  • I want caprese after the show.
  • I want steak now.
  • Why is there no red meat in my fridge?
  • Ooh! Hard boiled egg whites!
  • Still not steak.
  • Didn’t I JUST get a massage?
  • DAMMIT, KNEES.
  • Why am I out of cream?
  • I need to check my tomatoes.
  • That requires real clothes.
  • Later.
  • Maybe I can do some yoga at lunch.
  • It’s too quiet in here.
  • What song shall I sing for mic check tonite?
  • Get it together, Pandora.
  • How much caffeine is in this cold brew concentrate?
  • Is that a spider bite?
  • I hope I get spidey sense & super powers.
  • Especially the kind that FIX MY STUPID KNEES.
  • I bet spiders don’t have this problem.
  • Do spiders have knees?
  • I should’ve ordered twice as much Deep Blue.
  • I’m gonna smell like an old lady all day.
  • How long is David at Disney?
  • I wanna go back to Disney.
  • I’ma need a hover round if I go, CUZ KNEES.
  • Do they even make hover rounds anymore?
  • Geodesic domes are cool.
  • I wonder if blue prints for Epcot are online.
  • Science!
  • Einstein was a perv.
  • Um, Bucky Fuller designed the geodesic dome, Suzanne, not Einstein.
  • Get it together.
  • Maybe I shouldn’t read Cracked articles before I go to bed at night.
  • But they’re so informative & hilarious!
  • Unicorns ARE jerks.
  • I gotta buy crayons.
  • Ooh, Jenga!
  • Hurry up, Sangria. I need a shower.
  • Wait…fracking?
  • The hell?
  • DAMMIT, KNEES.
  • I really need to do some yoga.
  • But first, shower!
  • UGH I need to shave.
  • I wish my legs popped off like Barbie legs.
  • Shaving would be easier if I had removable legs.
  • Do cyborgs have removable limbs?
  • Cyborgs are not real things, Suzanne.
  • Get it together, woman.

And this is what it’s like to wake up inside my head on the morning of opening night. Not one thing about lines, choreography, or harmonies, but plenty about spider bites, cyborgs & flames shooting out of faucets, cuz LOGIC.

Wait.

CYBORG SPIDERS WITH FLAME THROWERS AS WEAPONS.

I gotta go find some more coffee. How much caffeine is in the cold brew? Not enough, apparently. Not nearly enough.

Clearly.

Clearly.

A is for Advice – the Unsolicited Kind. You’re Welcome.


Every once in awhile I’ll get bored and peruse writing prompts, and then on even rarer occasions I’ll actually do the writing. This is one of those times.

Prompt:

prompt

Disclaimer: It says nothing about writing good advice.

So here ya go. 26 pieces of random Suz advice, in alphabetical order:

Ask first.

Be bold.

Call your mom.

Dream big.

Eat your vegetables.

Fold your laundry.

Giggle often.

Honor others’ time.

Ignore the haters, especially the anonymous ones.

Jail: Avoid it.

Know when to walk away…know when to run. Thanks, Kenny Rogers!

Love big.

Mend the people and the things you break.

Naps: they are your friend. Rest well.

Own your words.

Pick your battles.

Quit your bitchin’.

Read often.

Shit or get off the pot.

Thanksgiving: keep it.

Unwind.

Vote.

Wish upon a star.

eXercise.

Yield for pedestrians.

Ziplines: try them.

Or just do what he says

Or just do this. 

Small Talk is my kryptonite


(pre-publish update) I started this post last week. I never finished it.  I’m posting it anyway. Mostly cuz La-Kresha said she wanted to see more blogs. :

So I’m sitting here at Starbuck’s waiting for a fellow lighting designer to come bring me a key to one of the theatre’s I’ll be living in for the next month and the lady beside me is totally having a conversation with her purse. She’s also had a conversation with each of the baristas (one of which is wearing a bow tie, awesome) and I’m doing everything in my power to stare at my computer screen and look busy because I’m afraid we’ll end up talking about coffee. or cats. or the weather.

Oscar Wilde said it best. “Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

Once a guy asked me to name a few things I enjoyed…we were stuck in a very generic line of “getting to know you” questions & I was bored. So I answered with bagpipes. I freakin’ love bagpipes. I can’t remember what else I said I liked, but I’m pretty sure the bagpipes are what scared him away. Oh well. I can’t help my love for celtic music. I also like funerals. I didn’t tell him that, though. But let me tell ya, a bagpiper at a funeral = awesome.

 

Ooh…my lighting compadre just arrived…time to talk lights. He skips the small talk, too. We get along well.

 

(pre-publish update) I can’t even really remember the point of this post. Except maybe if you talk to your purse I may try to avoid you. Even though I talk to my computer & other inanimate objects all the time. I just don’t do it in public. Or that maybe if you see me looking at you but not speaking, it’s because I’m trying to think of something to say. It’s not that I don’t want to get to know you (unless you look like a psycho – stranger danger!), I’m just socially awkward & figure that you’ll run away screaming if I start into a conversation about bagpipes. or funerals. or geodesic domes. I like them, too.

Perhaps you should pick the topic. as long as it’s not weather or politics, I’m in.

The end.