Friday Fun Times


It’s Friday. Wondermutt Stella woke me up at 5 a.m., apparently thinking yesterday’s accidental early morning is a new thing. It’s not a thing, Stella. Stop trying to make it a thing.

It's 5 a.m. My face is in your face.

It’s 5 a.m. Time for face in your face.

And so the day began. Kinda like this.

This happens more than I care to admit.

Yeah.

So I’m highly caffeinated AGAIN today and trying to find some ways to combat the cranky during lunch hour. Cuz it’s Friday. Friday isn’t for cranky times. Friday is for fun times.

Like vintage bowling.

These are my three favorite fun things on the interwebs right now:

Cuz Jimmy Fallon & the Roots:

Cuz Benny:

Cuz this writer & also Harry Potter (I fancy the Brits. Not ashamed.) You should follow him on the twitter machine:

Friday’s Shameless Plug for Friends:

Tonite I’m going to see something about some Lesbians Eating Quiche.

Shameless Plug for Friends

 

I love this little theatre group. They perform shows I’ve never heard of, which is great cuz I can only watch Hairspray and Oklahoma! and South Pacific performed so many times. Yeah, I said it.

Find something to make you laugh today. Cuz it’s Friday, yo.

 

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Atypical Thursday


So after deciding that I was going to write, finish & publish all the authentic & potentially (probably) unfunny posts last night, my brain must’ve flipped out. It was all “YAY! ALL THE WORDS & THINGS!” and woke me at 4:50 am today. FOUR FRIGGIN’ FIFTY.

kinda like this

My brain

I laid in bed listening to Stella & Brando (the Wondermutts) snore for twenty minutes while my brain rambled about I have no idea what. Cuz it was 4:50. Bitter.

Eventually I conceded, slowly waking the sleeping Wondermutts (that whole “Let Sleeping Dogs Lie” is good advice, but more on that another day) and dragged them out of bed. Usually it’s the other way around. Typically Stella has to stand on me to force me into a vertical position. 60 pounds of Stella standing on your chest is NOT how you want to wake up, by the way.

 

funny hocus pocus quotes | Funny:) / Hocus Pocus is my all time favorite Halloween movie on ...

Me, every morning.

So I put on my Hi-Vis safety shirt (safety first!) & attached tiny flashlights to the Wondermutts’ collars & went for a brisk 45 minute walk in the dark. Because I was up before the freakin’ sun. So bitter.
For the record, this is why I got a Spaniel mix instead of a yorkie - I want my dog to run with me, not ride along on my hip.

Not at all how I looked.

Wait – I had coffee first. Cuz coffee. & I’ve had coffee ever since. So that’s an extra 1.5 hours of coffee consumption.
Funny Coffeeology | Funny coffee quote from Funny Technology - Coffee Every Day - Community - Google+ via Wyatt Martin | #funny #coffeequote #caffeine

not ashamed.

& I’ve been writing in my online journal (two different posts) all morning (while also doing the work that earns me the paycheck) cuz THE WORDS JUST WON’T STOP COMING & my brain is all THINK ALL THE THINGS. The only writer’s block I had was the one I put there, apparently.
Calvin and Hobbes on "Writer's Block". @Andrea Brown  I think I've found  your problem ;P

Calvin is of my people.

That or I’ve just hit manic mode.
Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: Today's forecast... Manic with a slight chance of bat shit crazy.

probably this.

Apparently now that I’ve given myself permission to write (& therefore deal) with the heavy crap, my brain is all
Funny Pictures " go insane go insane lock me up and make it rain." said the mentail person!

I steal all these images from the Pinterest, btw.

Dear Brain:

shut it

You tell it, Chandler.

You could say it was the coffee’s fault. You would be wrong. The internal marathon monologue is finally slowing down. It took a pot of coffee to get to this point. Instead of overlapping thoughts, they’ve finally started forming an orderly line. WAIT YOUR TURN, THOUGHT.
Puppies!

Before

İşte bu.

After. Also? I feel like the tree.

So here’s where I am today: bitter about the 4:50 internal alarm, drinking lots of coffee, alternating between real work stuff, a private journal post, a journal post containing blog ideas, and this. And it’s only 2pm.

Oh, and as a teaser (warning??) here are the working titles of future blog posts. You’re welcome (I’m sorry??).

 

Don’t Take the ClickBait

Content Marketing is Killing Content

256 Shades of Gray (alternate: The Black & White Blinding Effect)

Riptide of Depression

Mania

How to Focus on Work When Your Brain Won’t Shut Up

The Joy Killing Laughter Thief

Group Texts, Group Messages & Reply Alls, Oh My.

Personal Brand vs Professional Brand

Facebook tags & Challenges & Why I Hate Them…Mostly.

Gossip Kills

Unplugging “Friendships” to Renew Relationships

Postcards from Pee Wee

Body Image Bullshit

The Haunt

A Bared Soul is not a Cry for Help (A Venn Diagram!)

Titanium Ta-Tas – The Cancer Scare!

Stop Telling Me What I Need (Clickbait Part Deux)

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie – Literally. No Really, Literally.

 

 Ok, back to work now. Stay tuned!

 

There’s More to Life than Bacon


Alternately titled: Things I love Thursday.

Guess what, reader(s): It ain’t just bacon or coffee, despite what you people may think. I was asked the other night if I get tired of being associated with bacon. Sort of.  On the one hand, it’s proof I have awesome taste in meat. On the other hand, it IS weird to hear “I had some bacon & thought of you.” There’s a lot more to me than my meatatarian ways. For example, many would be shocked that I actually eat very little meat. At least by comparison. to me five years ago.  As much as I would love to munch on a slab of bacon, these days I love being healthy even more. High blood pressure is for suckers, yo. So is high cholesterol. Avoid it if you can, even if it means giving up the salty goodness of dead pig consumption.

ANYWAY

Since I need to get back into writing, I’ve deemed Thursdays  “Things I love Thursday” to help give you, my reader, insight not only into me, but insight into all things awesome.

Thing I Love (besides bacon) Numero Uno:

Receiving random emails & postcards for no reason other than to say hello. I have a friend who used to live here but now lives in Hotlanta & sends me random emails for no reason…other than (I assume) to say hello & to make me smile. Today I got an email titled “Can Ya Dig It?” & the only thing in the body of the email was this video:

That’s right. My first received email today was Sammy Davis, Jr singing “Shaft.” Yes, yes I CAN dig it, thank you very much.

Send your posse fun random emails for no reason. It’s good times. Another friend does the same, but on a wider scope (sends to a group of us & not just me, which is fine, too) & usually also adds social commentary. Equally entertaining, but sometimes slightly disturbing. Like this one:

That is a video I DO NOT LOVE, whether poppa daddy tells me to or not. Receiving the email itself: still good times. & now i get a kick out of sending random emails to my peeps for no other reason than to say hello. Note: Don’t send chain emails & try not to send forwards of anything reminiscent of a “hang in there” kitten poster…unless you’re sending the email to a cat stuck up in a tree. Though I think said cat would be too busy to read your email if it’s hanging on for dear life 30 feet up in the air.  Point: come up with your own randomness. Your friends will appreciate you.

**updated before this post even published**

Sender of the scary “do what daddy says” video just sent this gem.

chicka chicka wow wow. You’re welcome.

Thing I love (beside coffee) Number Two:

Twitter. Why? No Farmville.  No long rants. No entire news feed filled up with videos of the band you had 15 years ago that I have to hide forever. With twitter, say it in 140 characters & get out of the way. It’s beautiful. & a couple of the people I follow come up with the best.hashtags.ever. Or, shall I say #besthashtagsever. 

Plus my audience on twitter (for now) is smaller & more diverse so I can get as random as I want to…in 140 characters or less. & though I haven’t truly figured out how to block a follower yet (directions are for sissies), I have figured out how to be random enough to get certain strangers to unfollow me, and that’s fun in & of itself.

They’ll follow me cuz I follow James Altucher or I mention stuff like “sales training.” BAM, immediately I’ll get notified of five new followers that are directly related to money & want to sell me something. They’re hoping I’ll do the twit pro quo & follow them back. Instead I talk about bacon. Or carnies. Or zombies. Then they go away. You may use that trick if you like.

So feel free to join me on twitter if you like. Just be prepared for zombie carnies.

Thing I love (besides zombies) #3:

This place called the Factory in Downtown Kernersville. It has fun local shops & a thing called “Wine Down Wednesday.” I like to go when I can. It’s got a sweet little vibe to it that I hope expands throughout K-Vegas. Plus I get to listen to the friends play the fun music.  They have a little band called Charity Case & all their proceeds go towards getting fresh water to those in developing nations. & here’s a photo:

Good music, good times, and khaki pants.

P.S. They’re playing at The Factory again on Sept.23 from 7-9. Come enjoy a glass of wine, listen to some tunes, and drop some cash in their tip bowl. That cash will go to a great cause. & you’ll have a great time. I call that a win win, people.